How to Deal with Mothers Day Loneliness

First let's recognize and acknowledge the ways Mothers Day can be so lonely for some. 

So you see those Hallmark commercials where the grown kids honor their mom with some loving attention and "thought enough to say the very best" in a card. Or kids who think on their own and make a craft showing mom their love and creativity from the heart. These acts of love are priceless. It is not the gift but the time the gift giver said to say I love you, I honor you in some way. That is really what mom's want on Mother's day.  Just to be remembered. 
But what do you do if your kids are grown and they are "to busy" or self centered to remember you or honor you in some way? The day can be lonely as thoughts of 18 years of caring for the needs spiritually,educationally, physically and more for that individual come flooding back. All the good and bad memories and the struggles and sacrifices you made come flooding back but they are not noticed or feel that way. 
In times like that utter lack of honor on the part of grown kids can, if left to it's own, do traumatic damage to a mom's heart. 

Another reason some feel so lonely on Mothers day is because they never had children and regret it or maybe even tried to have kids and could not for whatever medical of finical reasons. 

Some suffer on mother's day because they lost their mom's too soon to death or maybe was an orphan and never knew their mom's. Some even maybe had mom's that where difficult and did not show love in a way you longed for and maybe have had disagreements and cuts ties. 

Let's face it some of us sometimes suffer from one or more of these realities and at times when you see a mother and her kids out in public celebrating mothers day it can stab at your tender heart. 

I can relate. I have experienced not one but three of these situations. I am writing this blog post on Mothers day May 2020 and will tell you today was one of the loneliest Mother's days I have ever experienced. But I have a message for you that you are not alone. 
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How To Deal With Loneliness on Mother's Day

1. First let's address the brokenness of your situation and the remedy. Know that God loves you and see's your heart. Take time to sit with the maker and lover of your soul and find Him. He says he will draw near to the broken hearted. Psalm 34:18, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” 
2. Mother's bring joy. Go give your self a gift that day and bring yourself some joy then go find someone to give some joy to even if it is a pleasant smile out in public. 
3. Wanted kids but did not have any? If you always wanted to be a mom but could't first focus on YOU and go do something to bring yourself some joy that day as well. Then set a plan to find people who need a mother's nurturing (NO matter your age) such as seniors, aged out fosters who are kicked to the curb at age 18 and need some love & tlc (contact your local foster unit they can direct you for aged out fosters it takes no money to spend time with them, you might be the mom they always looked for!) If you never had kids but God still gave you a mother's heart he does NOT want you to waste it. Ask him to guide you to those who need it. Sometimes motherhood looks different then they typical. We can not put God or motherhood in a box. Do you love animals? Go to a shelter and volunteer and love on the unwanted animals! DO not waste that mother's heart. God showed me this a couple of years ago when I started off on my empty nester journey and showed me he was going to repackage my mother's heart for more than what I had known!
4. Had a mom or adult kids who did you wrong? Forgiveness is key. It is not so much for them but it is to set you free ultimately. Jesus was your proxy on the cross and forgave you he expects that from all of us as well to those who we may feel do not deserve it. Colossians 3:13 – Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Matthew 6:12 – From the Lord's Prayer – “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”
5. Your mom died? You miss your mom and you miss giving her honor and love on Mother's day. You still can! Go have some fun making a sweet mother's day craft and go to a rest home and ask the nurse who in the center never has their kids come see them or never had kids but wanted them? Go sit with that lady and present to her your Mother's day gift and tell her it is in honor of your own Mother. Then ask her to share some sweet memories of her mother as you also share some sweet memories of your mom. It will help your mom's memory to live on every Mother's day and be a new tradition you can look forward to by bringing joy and filling a void in someone while you fill your own. I guarantee she will shed tears!

​The MOST IMPORTANT take away.  Lastly know this, today as I write this and struggled with loneliness the Lord gave me something beautiful so beautiful it is to be shared and it is a message for you too. Diamonds are made in the dark pressure. They are pure and radiant. Someday you will have the moment that will blast ALL mother's days of all mother's days out of the planet when you stand before the Lord and everyone else in all eternity and he himself presents you with a crown of jewels laden with love and forged by your suffering in the dark loneliness, just as he suffered on the cross a dark loneliness and yet in that suffering you chose to give IN HIS name the heart of a mother and the heart of a Father which is unconditional LOVE to those around you in need. You have that to look forward to and no Hallmark card or Mother's day on earth WILL EVER compare.

So today on Mother's day go give LOVE to yourself and to others!